Tunnel Vision

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anias Nin

The story of my life lately.

It's almost funny how different your life can seem once you finally step back far enough to evaluate it. Other people can interject all they want, but unless you actually decide to listen to them and try to see things from their perspective it won't make even the teeniest difference.

I've realized, lately, this concept of tunnel vision. Making plans, and doing everything you can to make them happen, all the while disregarding all other options. Tunnel vision applies to a lot of different areas of my life...it's how I'm wired. I've always known this about myself...but recently God has pretty much slapped me in the face with it.

['For I know the plans I have for you, ' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'] -Jeremiah 29:11. I've had this verse memorized for as long as I can remember, so why I've never actually made it my mindset up until this point is beyond me.

For the longest time I thought that I knew exactly what God wanted from me. Actually, I was absolutely positive I knew. But he recently did some serious rearranging, leaving me with a lot of heartache and not a lot of answers. But I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. The past few weeks have shown me that I'm not in control. God is. I don't know how my life is going to end up. God does. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, or next week, or in 2 years. But I don't have to. And I'm okay with that.

It's a truly humbling thing to realize that God can and will shake things up to make you see clearly. But that's just more evidence of how much he cares. He wants what's best for us, and we need to be in the right place in order for him to teach us what that is. He's more than willing to teach...we just have to be willing to listen.