Picking Dandelions

I love hearing my mom tell me stories about when I was little. I was "happy go lucky" to say the least. When I was really young, I played on a soccer team like every other kid ever. But instead of chasing the ball around, I preferred to dance around and pick dandelions. I didn't have a care in the world. Thinking about that always makes me smile. But somewhere along the line the "happy go lucky" in me took a backseat to a very broken heart.

When I was in high school, I had a lot of emotional struggles that were significant enough to cause a lot of damage. They left me completely broken. Unfortunately, I never confronted any of it, and since then various aspects of my life have just added to and perpetuated the pain, most of the time without me even realizing how bad it was. A girl's heart is a fragile, precious, beautiful thing. Mine was hurt in a lot of ways that left me guarded, insecure, and completely ashamed. Feeling like I was too much and not enough all at the same time. The worst part is, I learned to live with it. I just buried it all and expected it to go away. I found shelter in other things. Other people. I got good at hiding and coming out to smile when necessary. But the healing never came. And guarded, afraid, and compromised is not how I was meant to live.

As He will, God took away all the things I was using to hide behind and my main source of comfort...all to show me how to heal. To remind me that I needed healing in the first place. He'd been trying to for years. Gently, of course. It's my choice. But why suffer through the pain and try to live around it when complete healing is mine for the taking? I'll gladly trade my broken heart for a brand new one. And I am.

It's taken a lot for me to realize what God's doing in me. But now that there's nothing to hide behind, he's coming to my rescue. He's helping me believe that he created me exactly how he wants me. He even wanted to specifically reveal something about himself when he created me. He's showing me that I am lovely. I am uniquely captivating. And I am well worth pursuing. I don't need to be beautiful in the world's eyes. I have been made perfect in His.

So I'm gonna skip around and pick dandelions. Because I don't see a single reason not to :)