First of all, let me say that I did not write any of the following. This is incredibly thought-provoking and quite simply speaks for itself. Prepare to be humbled.
This is excellent and really gets you thinking about what will happen in Heaven.
17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class.
The subject was What Heaven Was Like.
"I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. It's a killer. It's the bomb! It's the best thing I ever wrote."
It also was the last.
Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teays Valley High School in Pickaway County.
Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them, notes from classmates and teachers, and his homework.
Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life.
But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of Heaven.
It makes such an impact that people want to share it.
"You feel like you are there," Mr. Moore said.
Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.
The Moore's framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room.
"I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death.
"I'm happy for Brian.
I know he's in Heaven.
I know I'll see him."
Here is Brian's essay entitled:
"THE ROOM"
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.
There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files.
They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.
But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.
As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read " Girls I Have Liked."
I opened it and began flipping through the cards.
I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.
This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life.
Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content.
Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
A file named " Friends" was next to one marked " Friends I Have Betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird.
" Books I Have Read," " Lies I Have Told," " Comfort I have Given," " Jokes I Have Laughed At."
Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: " Things I've Yelled at My Brothers."
Others I couldn't laugh at: " Things I Have Done in My Anger", "
Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents."
I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.
Often there were many more cards than expected.
Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.
Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards?
But each card confirmed this truth.
Each was written in my own handwriting.
Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked " TV Shows I Have Watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents..
The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file.
I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked " Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body.
I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card.
I shuddered at its detailed content.
I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me.
One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards!
No one must ever see this room!
I have to destroy them!"
In insane frenzy I yanked the file out.
Its size didn't matter now.
I had to empty it and burn the cards.
But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card.
I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.
Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.
And then I saw it.
The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With."
The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused.
I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands.
I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came.
I began to weep.
Sobs so deep that they hurt.
They started in my stomach and shook through me.
I fell on my knees and cried.
I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all.
The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes.
No one must ever, ever know of this room.
I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.
No, please not Him.
Not here.
Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards.
I couldn't bear to watch His response.
And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.
Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room.
He looked at me with pity in His eyes.
But this was a pity that didn't anger me.
I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.
He walked over and put His arm around me.
He could have said so many things.
But He didn't say a word.
He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files.
Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him.
All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him.
His name shouldn't be on these cards.
But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so alive.
The name of Jesus covered mine.
It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards.
I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.
He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room.
There was no lock on its door.
There were still cards to be written.
" For God so loved the
world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
But Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness
I've been stressed out lately. Except that stressed out is something of an understatement.
I'm getting married in 25 days. Don't get me wrong--that I'm excited for. So excited, in fact, that having to wait adds considerably to the stress. Over the course of the next 25 days, there are approximately 10,000 little things that I have to remember to do/get done.
In addition to wedding preparations, I'm preparing to take my NCLEX (otherwise known as National Council Licensure Examination). Passing this test means that I will be a registered nurse (RN) and therefore eligible to actually use my degree and practice nursing in the state of Colorado. Not passing...well, I'm sure you get the idea. At this point, I'm still waiting for approval from the state to schedule a date to test. I was told that processing takes up to three weeks, which puts me dangerously close to my wedding date. All I want is to be able to take my exam before I get married and leave the country. Unfortunately, that's out of my hands. On top of all this, I have to find time to study and adequately prepare amidst all the wedding craziness, moving, applying for jobs, etc.
This is where I have to remind myself to breathe.
On June 4th I submitted my application for my dream job: the New Graduate Residency Program at Children's Hospital Colorado. On June 5th I received a follow-up email requesting more information. Since then: silence. Now I'm finding myself stuck between wanting this job more than anything else in the world and trying not to get my hopes up. Hence, more stress.
On top of all of this, I'm trying to move, and I currently have stuff at my apartment in Colorado Springs, Aaron's and my apartment in Westminster, and my parents' house in Fort Collins. In theory it almost sounds convenient, but in actuality it's incredibly stressful being spread out across three counties. There are people I love dearly and want to spend time with in each place; I just can't be in three places at once.
Needless to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed and spread unreasonably thin. To complicate matters even more, there's the realization that this is supposed to be the most exciting time in my life thus far: graduating from college, becoming an RN, finding a job, getting married to the love of my life...except the stress of all these things is significantly overshadowing the excitement.
The Lord has been ever so gently placing Matthew chapter 6 on my heart lately; although up until today I've done a remarkable job of presenting him with my massive to-do list as if it's more important. But He is gracious and persistent, and proceeded to wake me up before my alarm this morning so that I had no excuse not to sit and listen.
Matthew 6:25-34 is a very familiar passage to me; however, the Lord never ceases to use it to teach me something new.
The Cure for Anxiety
25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor tag her into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like on of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NASB, emphasis mine)
This passage never ceases to humble and amaze me. The words, "You of little faith!" get me every time. Through all my worrying about the future, I'm failing to act on what I claim to believe. God already knows what I need! He has graciously provided for me for 22 years, and I don't believe he's going to stop now.
The verse that really stuck out to me this time is verse 33:
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
I've read this verse a hundred times. I memorized it at STP, for Pete's sake! It seems silly, but I'm only just now understanding what it truly means:
FIRST:
Seek the Lord--
Spend time in the Word--
Pray--
Fellowship--
Worship--
Serve--
Give--
Keep your eyes on Jesus--
And everything else will fall in to place.
It breaks my heart to have to learn over and over again that when I worry and am anxious, it usually means that my priorities are painfully out of order. But the Lord is patient and gracious and ever willing to remind me as often as I need Him to...
Nothing else matters but Jesus.
I'm getting married in 25 days. Don't get me wrong--that I'm excited for. So excited, in fact, that having to wait adds considerably to the stress. Over the course of the next 25 days, there are approximately 10,000 little things that I have to remember to do/get done.
In addition to wedding preparations, I'm preparing to take my NCLEX (otherwise known as National Council Licensure Examination). Passing this test means that I will be a registered nurse (RN) and therefore eligible to actually use my degree and practice nursing in the state of Colorado. Not passing...well, I'm sure you get the idea. At this point, I'm still waiting for approval from the state to schedule a date to test. I was told that processing takes up to three weeks, which puts me dangerously close to my wedding date. All I want is to be able to take my exam before I get married and leave the country. Unfortunately, that's out of my hands. On top of all this, I have to find time to study and adequately prepare amidst all the wedding craziness, moving, applying for jobs, etc.
This is where I have to remind myself to breathe.
On June 4th I submitted my application for my dream job: the New Graduate Residency Program at Children's Hospital Colorado. On June 5th I received a follow-up email requesting more information. Since then: silence. Now I'm finding myself stuck between wanting this job more than anything else in the world and trying not to get my hopes up. Hence, more stress.
On top of all of this, I'm trying to move, and I currently have stuff at my apartment in Colorado Springs, Aaron's and my apartment in Westminster, and my parents' house in Fort Collins. In theory it almost sounds convenient, but in actuality it's incredibly stressful being spread out across three counties. There are people I love dearly and want to spend time with in each place; I just can't be in three places at once.
Needless to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed and spread unreasonably thin. To complicate matters even more, there's the realization that this is supposed to be the most exciting time in my life thus far: graduating from college, becoming an RN, finding a job, getting married to the love of my life...except the stress of all these things is significantly overshadowing the excitement.
The Lord has been ever so gently placing Matthew chapter 6 on my heart lately; although up until today I've done a remarkable job of presenting him with my massive to-do list as if it's more important. But He is gracious and persistent, and proceeded to wake me up before my alarm this morning so that I had no excuse not to sit and listen.
Matthew 6:25-34 is a very familiar passage to me; however, the Lord never ceases to use it to teach me something new.
The Cure for Anxiety
25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor tag her into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like on of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NASB, emphasis mine)
This passage never ceases to humble and amaze me. The words, "You of little faith!" get me every time. Through all my worrying about the future, I'm failing to act on what I claim to believe. God already knows what I need! He has graciously provided for me for 22 years, and I don't believe he's going to stop now.
The verse that really stuck out to me this time is verse 33:
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
I've read this verse a hundred times. I memorized it at STP, for Pete's sake! It seems silly, but I'm only just now understanding what it truly means:
FIRST:
Seek the Lord--
Spend time in the Word--
Pray--
Fellowship--
Worship--
Serve--
Give--
Keep your eyes on Jesus--
And everything else will fall in to place.
It breaks my heart to have to learn over and over again that when I worry and am anxious, it usually means that my priorities are painfully out of order. But the Lord is patient and gracious and ever willing to remind me as often as I need Him to...
Nothing else matters but Jesus.
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