This is my final blog in this particular “series,” if you
will. So let me recap:
This series began as a response to my prolonged season of
unemployment, despite hundreds of applications and networking attempts. While
it has been difficult and discouraging, I am so confident that the Lord is
moving in this season of my life and actively preparing my heart for the next.
Deep down I’ve always known it; however, discouragement and impatience still
seem to get the best of me more often than I’d like to admit. And yet, despite
my episodic lack of faith, God has continued to be good and gracious and reveal
teeny bits about his intentions for this season. He has been teaching me how to
better wait, trust, and pray. I think the biggest and most humbling lesson that
the Lord has been teaching me, though, is to simply be Aaron’s wife.
Marrying Aaron has been the absolute greatest adventure of
my life. We are learning, growing, and challenging each other more and more
every day. Admittedly, it has been more of an adjustment that I had originally
anticipated. Assuming the role of wife is infinitely different than that of
fiancé or girlfriend. Now it seems silly to have expected any different.
Let me back up for a minute—while having dinner with a
friend on Monday night, the Lord used our conversation to show me how this season
of unemployment has been an answer to prayer. It occurred to me that throughout
my four years of nursing school, I was always complaining about my busy and
demanding schedule. Nearly every minute of my free time was spent reading
textbooks and studying for exams. I was constantly wishing for more time to do
things I actually wanted to do; such
as read books, work out, spend time with friends, scrapbook, etc. I’m sure you
can guess where this is going…
Since graduating and passing my NCLEX:
-
I have read four books and am currently in the
middle of my fifth
-
I’ve been able to run/work out nearly every day
and even started training for a 5k
-
I am able to meet up with an average of 2-3
friends per week
-
I finished scrapping our proposal and engagement
photos and am in the process of starting the wedding
These are things I never, in a million years, would have had
time for while I was in school. Plus, the time I get to spend with people is so
much richer and fuller because I’m not guilted by the fact that I’m not
studying or rushed to leave to continue studying. It’s beautiful, and it’s
absolutely 100% a gift from God. BAM: humbled. (And SO thankful!)
So back to here and now. This season is certainly proving to
be a blessing in disguise. As mentioned previously, I truly feel that my time
is so much richer and fuller now that I am unburdened by school and studying.
The Lord has been teaching me how to channel that into being present with and
blessing my husband. Aaron works 40+ hours per week, attends grad school part
time, does freelance graphic design, and plays in the worship band on Sunday
mornings on top of being my husband, spending time with his friends, and doing
things he enjoys doing in his spare time. He works so hard and gives so much,
and I’m realizing what a blessing it truly is for me to simply be here and
present with him when he gets home. If I were coming home from my own long workdays,
I’m sure things would be quite different. Now I have the time and undivided
attention to give him and bless him when he is home, and I love it. I’m
learning what it means to be a wife, and specifically Aaron’s wife, and what it
looks like to take on that role and do it well.
A few weeks ago, the Lord began putting Proverbs 31:27 on my
heart: “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread
of idleness” (NASB). In fact, this verse is on a decorated index card hanging
on my bathroom mirror. I want so badly to always look well to the ways of my
household. Even the seemingly trivial things like cooking, cleaning, laundry,
etc. make a big difference. I’m learning not only to do these things, but to do
them well and to do them joyfully. Because right now, this is part of my
ministry, and it always will be. I firmly believe that not only is God preparing
me for the rest of my life in relation to my marriage, but for eventually being
a stay-at-home mom (keyword: eventually.
Don’t read into that!)
As badly as I want to begin my nursing career, I’m so
grateful for this season. I believe that the Lord is grooming me as a wife and
building my character while he prepares me for whatever is next. I’m not sure
what next is or when it will come, but I’m confident it’s ahead of me.
So to sum up my little “series,” here’s a thought: life
doesn’t begin when [insert milestone here]. It’s doesn’t begin when you
graduate from college, or when you get married, or when you find your dream
job. Life is now, today. Life is getting out of bed in the morning. It’s eating
what’s left of the cereal and going out to greet the day. It’s unloading the
dishwasher and doing laundry and burning dinner. Life is making Valentine’s Day
cards in September with 7-year-olds and getting rained out at a baseball game.
It’s running errands and making appointments and falling asleep on the couch
watching The Big Bang Theory with your best friend. Life is in the nitty gritty
of every day, and so often we make the mistake of going through the motions
until we end up where we think we want to be. Don’t make that mistake. Live
now, today, in this moment—because nothing has been promised to you. Don’t
waste today waiting, because it has a lesson to be learned and a gift to be
enjoyed. “Now we should live when the
pulse of life is strong. Life is a tenuous thing…fragile, fleeting…be here now,
be here now, be here now!”
Whatever you do, work
at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. [Colossians
2:23]
