I know it's coming...any day now, literally. It's all I can think about and I'm SO excited! It almost seems unfair to have to wait...
I was driving home this afternoon and a song by Kim Walker came on. The chorus goes like this:
All I need is You
All I need is You, Lord, is You, Lord
All I need is You
All I need is You, Lord, is You, Lord
The lyrics are so simple, but so beautiful. The song really spoke to my heart about contentment. Waiting impatiently only subtracts from the here and now, and I don't want to live like that. I don't want to miss anything. These next few months are really going to stretch my patience, but that's probably because that's exactly what I need right now. So I'm more than happy to wait and to learn. He is all I need, and I've got Him.
After all, contentedness is one of the purest forms of beauty.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Despicable Me
I just caught myself praying the most ridiculous prayer. It was more or less me telling God what's going on in my life and asking him to give me strength and to bless me in it. Almost immediately it was like I heard Him say,
"Wait a minute, Who's in charge here?"
All of a sudden the position of my heart was changed and it dropped to it's proverbial little knees. No wonder I've been so nervous and anxious all week--I've been trying to do this on my own and asking Him to come alongside me, when instead I should be looking to Him for direction. He is in control, and I'm more or less along for the ride. How do I manage to keep forgetting that? It feels like I've been re-learning this particular lesson on a near-weekly basis lately. Hopefully this time it'll stick.
Lord, thank you that your grace is enough to cover my sinful human pride. I'm sorry I keep trying to do this on my own strength. I can't. I need You. Please help me to always remember to ask You what You're doing, rather than assume I have it figured out. I trust that You are in control, and I surrender all that I am into Your gentle, creative hands. Make of me what You will. I love you, Jesus. Amen.
"Wait a minute, Who's in charge here?"
All of a sudden the position of my heart was changed and it dropped to it's proverbial little knees. No wonder I've been so nervous and anxious all week--I've been trying to do this on my own and asking Him to come alongside me, when instead I should be looking to Him for direction. He is in control, and I'm more or less along for the ride. How do I manage to keep forgetting that? It feels like I've been re-learning this particular lesson on a near-weekly basis lately. Hopefully this time it'll stick.
Lord, thank you that your grace is enough to cover my sinful human pride. I'm sorry I keep trying to do this on my own strength. I can't. I need You. Please help me to always remember to ask You what You're doing, rather than assume I have it figured out. I trust that You are in control, and I surrender all that I am into Your gentle, creative hands. Make of me what You will. I love you, Jesus. Amen.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
My Trip to Cambodia
I realize I'm about 3 months late getting this up, but I'm feeling extremely nostalgic and missing Cambodia today, so now seemed like a good time to post this. These were two of the most incredible and memorable weeks of my life, and my heart is absolutely breaking to go back.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Make Me Bold
This semester I'm doing a Bible study with two of my very best friends. Right now we're reading a book called So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. Tonight while we were discussing the chapters we read for the week, I came to a horrifying conclusion:
One of my biggest insecurities is what I believe in.
Let me back up for a minute; I know what I believe. Or, better yet, Who I believe in. That's never been the question. The problem is that I'm extremely hesitant when it comes to sharing what I believe with others.
For whatever reason, I've always had it in my head that the whole rest of the world sees Christians as complete nutcases. That for those who aren't religious (I really hate that word, but 'spiritual' is too broad), those of us who believe in Jesus as the Son of God are off our rockers. The more I thought about it, and the more Bekah, Kim, and I talked about it, I started to realize that I'm afraid that because I am a Christian, non-Christians won't take me seriously.
Now I believe that this fear stems from an even deeper one: the fear of being judged, labelled, stereotyped, and disregarded. I'm ashamed to admit that I've allowed this fear to put me in a box. I'm not very verbal about what I believe around nonbelievers for one of two reasons: 1.) I'm afraid they'll think I'm a lunatic, or 2.) I make this wild assumption that nothing I say will ever cause them to believe what I believe.
I, I, I, me, me me. Goodness gracious, there's my problem.
I won't go through the whole long process, but I will say that my girls and I had so many really good discussions about all of this. Here's what we learned:
1.) Most people thought Jesus was nuts. Didn't stop Him.
2.) The Gospel message is too important not to share it every chance I get.
3.) I have been set apart and called to spread the Word. [2 Cor. 5:20-21]
4.) In the end, when I'm standing before my Savior, it won't matter what anyone else thought of me.
5.) I need to start viewing other people not as nonbelievers, but as lost souls. Souls that will one day burn in hell if they reject Jesus. I love the people in my life far too much to let that happen. It's not up to me, but I'm gonna do everything within my power to help them see the Truth.
6.) Bekah compared our faith to someone who lives and breathes a sport, like soccer. They would intentionally invite others into the aspect of their life because it was so important to them; invite them to games, talk about it all the time, etc. That's exactly how excited I want to be about my faith.
Actually verbalizing that I'm insecure when it comes to sharing my faith was a pretty big slap in the face. But I needed it. I had never given it this much thought before, and to be completely honest, it bugs the heck out of me. Sharing my faith really has nothing to do with me at all. It's not about my story, it's about His. It's the most important story ever told, and I should be bursting at the seams to invite people into it. I'd rather have people think I'm a lunatic than stand before God on Judgment Day knowing I could have done better.
Jesus, make me bold!
One of my biggest insecurities is what I believe in.
Let me back up for a minute; I know what I believe. Or, better yet, Who I believe in. That's never been the question. The problem is that I'm extremely hesitant when it comes to sharing what I believe with others.
For whatever reason, I've always had it in my head that the whole rest of the world sees Christians as complete nutcases. That for those who aren't religious (I really hate that word, but 'spiritual' is too broad), those of us who believe in Jesus as the Son of God are off our rockers. The more I thought about it, and the more Bekah, Kim, and I talked about it, I started to realize that I'm afraid that because I am a Christian, non-Christians won't take me seriously.
Now I believe that this fear stems from an even deeper one: the fear of being judged, labelled, stereotyped, and disregarded. I'm ashamed to admit that I've allowed this fear to put me in a box. I'm not very verbal about what I believe around nonbelievers for one of two reasons: 1.) I'm afraid they'll think I'm a lunatic, or 2.) I make this wild assumption that nothing I say will ever cause them to believe what I believe.
I, I, I, me, me me. Goodness gracious, there's my problem.
I won't go through the whole long process, but I will say that my girls and I had so many really good discussions about all of this. Here's what we learned:
1.) Most people thought Jesus was nuts. Didn't stop Him.
2.) The Gospel message is too important not to share it every chance I get.
3.) I have been set apart and called to spread the Word. [2 Cor. 5:20-21]
4.) In the end, when I'm standing before my Savior, it won't matter what anyone else thought of me.
5.) I need to start viewing other people not as nonbelievers, but as lost souls. Souls that will one day burn in hell if they reject Jesus. I love the people in my life far too much to let that happen. It's not up to me, but I'm gonna do everything within my power to help them see the Truth.
6.) Bekah compared our faith to someone who lives and breathes a sport, like soccer. They would intentionally invite others into the aspect of their life because it was so important to them; invite them to games, talk about it all the time, etc. That's exactly how excited I want to be about my faith.
Actually verbalizing that I'm insecure when it comes to sharing my faith was a pretty big slap in the face. But I needed it. I had never given it this much thought before, and to be completely honest, it bugs the heck out of me. Sharing my faith really has nothing to do with me at all. It's not about my story, it's about His. It's the most important story ever told, and I should be bursting at the seams to invite people into it. I'd rather have people think I'm a lunatic than stand before God on Judgment Day knowing I could have done better.
Jesus, make me bold!
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