To Simply Be Aaron's Wife

This is my final blog in this particular “series,” if you will. So let me recap:

This series began as a response to my prolonged season of unemployment, despite hundreds of applications and networking attempts. While it has been difficult and discouraging, I am so confident that the Lord is moving in this season of my life and actively preparing my heart for the next. Deep down I’ve always known it; however, discouragement and impatience still seem to get the best of me more often than I’d like to admit. And yet, despite my episodic lack of faith, God has continued to be good and gracious and reveal teeny bits about his intentions for this season. He has been teaching me how to better wait, trust, and pray. I think the biggest and most humbling lesson that the Lord has been teaching me, though, is to simply be Aaron’s wife.

Marrying Aaron has been the absolute greatest adventure of my life. We are learning, growing, and challenging each other more and more every day. Admittedly, it has been more of an adjustment that I had originally anticipated. Assuming the role of wife is infinitely different than that of fiancé or girlfriend. Now it seems silly to have expected any different.

Let me back up for a minute—while having dinner with a friend on Monday night, the Lord used our conversation to show me how this season of unemployment has been an answer to prayer. It occurred to me that throughout my four years of nursing school, I was always complaining about my busy and demanding schedule. Nearly every minute of my free time was spent reading textbooks and studying for exams. I was constantly wishing for more time to do things I actually wanted to do; such as read books, work out, spend time with friends, scrapbook, etc. I’m sure you can guess where this is going…

Since graduating and passing my NCLEX:

-       I have read four books and am currently in the middle of my fifth

-       I’ve been able to run/work out nearly every day and even started training for a 5k

-       I am able to meet up with an average of 2-3 friends per week

-       I finished scrapping our proposal and engagement photos and am in the process of starting the wedding

These are things I never, in a million years, would have had time for while I was in school. Plus, the time I get to spend with people is so much richer and fuller because I’m not guilted by the fact that I’m not studying or rushed to leave to continue studying. It’s beautiful, and it’s absolutely 100% a gift from God. BAM: humbled. (And SO thankful!)

So back to here and now. This season is certainly proving to be a blessing in disguise. As mentioned previously, I truly feel that my time is so much richer and fuller now that I am unburdened by school and studying. The Lord has been teaching me how to channel that into being present with and blessing my husband. Aaron works 40+ hours per week, attends grad school part time, does freelance graphic design, and plays in the worship band on Sunday mornings on top of being my husband, spending time with his friends, and doing things he enjoys doing in his spare time. He works so hard and gives so much, and I’m realizing what a blessing it truly is for me to simply be here and present with him when he gets home. If I were coming home from my own long workdays, I’m sure things would be quite different. Now I have the time and undivided attention to give him and bless him when he is home, and I love it. I’m learning what it means to be a wife, and specifically Aaron’s wife, and what it looks like to take on that role and do it well.

A few weeks ago, the Lord began putting Proverbs 31:27 on my heart: “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (NASB). In fact, this verse is on a decorated index card hanging on my bathroom mirror. I want so badly to always look well to the ways of my household. Even the seemingly trivial things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. make a big difference. I’m learning not only to do these things, but to do them well and to do them joyfully. Because right now, this is part of my ministry, and it always will be. I firmly believe that not only is God preparing me for the rest of my life in relation to my marriage, but for eventually being a stay-at-home mom (keyword: eventually. Don’t read into that!)

As badly as I want to begin my nursing career, I’m so grateful for this season. I believe that the Lord is grooming me as a wife and building my character while he prepares me for whatever is next. I’m not sure what next is or when it will come, but I’m confident it’s ahead of me.

So to sum up my little “series,” here’s a thought: life doesn’t begin when [insert milestone here]. It’s doesn’t begin when you graduate from college, or when you get married, or when you find your dream job. Life is now, today. Life is getting out of bed in the morning. It’s eating what’s left of the cereal and going out to greet the day. It’s unloading the dishwasher and doing laundry and burning dinner. Life is making Valentine’s Day cards in September with 7-year-olds and getting rained out at a baseball game. It’s running errands and making appointments and falling asleep on the couch watching The Big Bang Theory with your best friend. Life is in the nitty gritty of every day, and so often we make the mistake of going through the motions until we end up where we think we want to be. Don’t make that mistake. Live now, today, in this moment—because nothing has been promised to you. Don’t waste today waiting, because it has a lesson to be learned and a gift to be enjoyed. “Now we should live when the pulse of life is strong. Life is a tenuous thing…fragile, fleeting…be here now, be here now, be here now!”

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. [Colossians 2:23]