Lay Me Down

Last week I was offered an RN position at a skilled nursing and rehab facility in Loveland. After three long, discouraging months I am finally employed!

I couldn't be more excited to start. There's a small part of me, though, that can't help but be disappointed that I won't be working in a hospital. My passion has always been pediatrics, and I had hoped to get into the new grad program at Children's Hospital Colorado in Aurora. God closed that door back in June. Since then, I've also developed an interest in emergency nursing, and one day hope to get certified as a sexual assault nurse examiner (SANE). I've always known that as a new grad I wouldn't exactly have my choice in specialties right off the bat, but I was led to believe that finding a job in a hospital wouldn't be a problem. Turns out it has been.

The most recent Passion album, White Flag, is all I've been listening to lately; and God has really been speaking to my heart through it. Specifically, the chorus to Lay Me Down:

I lay me down
I'm not my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down
Lay me down

Hand on my heart,
This much is true:
There's no life apart from You
Lay me down
Lay me down

Such a simple declaration, but it resonates so deeply with me. I'm not my own. I'm so confident that the Lord provided this new job for me, and even though it's not in the type of facility I expected, I'm learning to forfeit my specific desires for the time being in order to go where He's leading me. Both the interview and the offer came within a week of Aaron and I deciding that we wanted to try to accelerate our transition up to Fort Collins; and I don't believe for a second that it was a coincidence. I trust that the Lord is at work, and I believe with all my heart that His long-term plans for my life are infinitely better than any of my short-term ones. This position is at a five-star facility working the hours that I wanted with awesome people who are more than willing and excited to work with me. Really, what more could I ask for?

And so, with a thankful heart, I'm learning what it means to lay my expectations down; because I know that where He's leading me is much better than anywhere I could get on my own.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. [Proverbs 16:9]