A New Heart

God works in such incredible ways.

God has been doing a lot of work on my heart over the past few months. I've come a long way, and yet I have a long way to go. It's beautiful and exciting and scary all at once. God's really been pushing me to let go of the things in my life that have been distracting me from pursuing him wholeheartedly. It's definitely not easy, and for a long time I was so reluctant because I wanted to stay in control. Turns out I never was.

It took a lot of tears and hardships for me to realize that I was dividing my focus between God and the things I wanted for myself. Idols, if you will. (I know that's harsh and horrifying, but it's true. We all have them, any way you slice it.) I was miserably failing to surrender to Him completely, all the while convincing myself that I was doing a good enough job. But because there is failure there is also redemption...

[I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.] - Ezekiel 36: 25-27

Now it's not a matter of what I need to do fix things, it's a matter of laying it all down at the feet of my Savior and trusting him to carry me. Trusting him to cleanse me. Trusting him to give me a new heart. And trusting him to instill his Spirit within me, so that I may pursue him as I am called to: with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength. And now he's replacing my distracted, broken heart with a focused one, and he's filling me up and providing me with all I need. And He is truly all I need :)