Thankful

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us,
And not we ourselves.
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And his faithfulness to all generations.
[psalm100]

I read this last night before I went to bed and was immediately humbled. This psalm is even labeled as "A Psalm of Thanksgiving." I don't think it could be any clearer that God is speaking.

I'm completely ashamed.

Ever since I got engaged, my life has been something of a whirlwind. My mind is constantly moving a million miles per minute. It's like I've been transitioning into living a life that is 100% centered around me. But that's not how I want to live.

I've gotten really good at complaining about my inability to connect with God and doing absolutely nothing about it. So good, in fact, that I've gotten comfortable complaining about it and allowed that to be good enough.

I've mentioned before that I'm working my way through the book of Psalms, reading at least 2 per day (ideally). Lately I've been so bad about making time to spend with Jesus and chalking it up to my inability to focus. But last night I was craving that time. So I picked up where I had left off in the Psalms. Chapter 100 all but slapped me in the face:

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us,
And not we ourselves.
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And his faithfulness to all generations.

I felt as though I was reading a list of things I've been failing at. What hit me even harder, though, is that this is actually called a Psalm of Thanksgiving. And here I've been, on Thanksgiving break, too concerned with my time off from school, my family, my fiance, and wedding planning to even acknowledge what Thanksgiving is about. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for, and I've been taking it all for granted. I don't deserve a single thing that the Lord has blessed me with, and I want to start living that way.

[[Know that the Lord Himself is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.]]

Thank you, Jesus, for every so gently putting me in my place.