Stuck in a Rut

"You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3

Well, wow--this is certainly humbling. So often I find myself asking God for the things I want and wonder why it seems as if He hasn't heard me. I am so guilty of asking God for things simply because I want them--in this case, for Him to restore a broken relationship--not stopping to think about whether or not it's good for me, edifying to the Lord, or even what He wants for my life.

So here I am, thinking I've learned a valuable life lesson when, in actuality, I halfheartedly realized something and failed to apply it to my life. I can honestly say that I want nothing more or less than what God wants for my life. The thing is, regardless of my motives, I get busy and my prayer life becomes sluggish, allowing room for my prayers to become more selfishly motivated.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." But where does that start? It seems fairly simple, but our own selfish desires never fail to get in the way and blur our vision.

"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." - James 4:7-10

I wholeheartedly believe that delighting in the Lord must begin with completely ridding us of ourselves, and that is not a pleasant process. Resisting temptation isn't easy. Denying ourselves of the things the world has conditioned us to want can be excruciating. It involves laying down our pride and allowing ourselves to be completely broken. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. God can't line desires of my heart up with His if I keep getting in the way. I read a quote today that really resonates with me: "It is not within our power to create the wind or to change its direction, but we can raise our sails to catch it when it comes." I'm still trying too hard to stay in control and to get my way. But that's not my job. My job is to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord and let Him take the wheel. That involves a lot of trust on my part, which unfortunately still isn't one of my strong suits. But I know that sitting back and letting Jesus have His way in me is so much better than trying to navigate these waters on my own; because simply put, I can't.