Ever since I came home on Sunday my heart has been heavy. It's been really discouraging, because God has blessed me with so much joy and peace lately, and I just couldn't find it anymore. I've been feeling so attacked all of a sudden, and my anxiety has been high. It's like all the emotions I've experienced in the past month hit me all at once.
But God is still good.
Today I was at Starbucks with some friends. After I ordered, my friend gave me a sip of her drink. It was fantastic. I was kinda bummed and wished I had ordered what she got. Turns out the barista made me the wrong drink--and it was exactly what I wished for. This may seem a little silly, but I like to think God likes doing stuff like that for us sometimes. He knows what makes us smile, and He wants to do just that. And He definitely did!
Last night I prayed as I walked to the mailbox, asking for another check for my trip to Cambodia. The mailbox was completely empty, but I shrugged it off. I know God wants me on this trip. I know He'll provide. Today at school, one of my classmates walked up to me and handed me a $300 check! It was so unexpected and I couldn't help but smile the rest of the day. He certainly answered my little mailbox prayer in a MUCH bigger and better way than I expected Him to.
I have a devotional book called Streams in the Desert that I read every day. You know those times when you read something and think it must have been written especially for you? Today's devotion was one of those. It really couldn't have been more perfect.
Even though my heart is still heavy and aching, God is continually answering my prayers and pursing my heart. He knows me inside and out, and knows exactly what I need exactly when I need it. It absolutely amazes me that despite my heartache, He's providing me with glimpses of hope and reminders of His love. I'm experiencing God in new ways: as a lover and a romancer. And it's beautiful :)
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