I've been debating whether or not I want this particular topic to be world wide web-accessible, but I think that transparency is a really important part of fellowship and relationship. And if God's doing something incredible, why keep it to myself? So, here it goes...
When I first started seeing my counselor back in October, she had me take an anxiety inventory and a depression inventory to gauge where I was at. I scored a 66 on my anxiety inventory, which is classified as extreme anxiety/panic. I scored a 26 on my depression inventory, which is classified as moderate depression. Filling out these inventories and hearing my results in and of itself was really tough. Even though it wasn't exactly news to me, it all suddenly felt really official, and that was scary. A lot of that comes from the horrible stigmas associated with depression and anxiety disorders, but I also succumbed to believing the devil's lies when he told me that I was a lesser person because of them. It was a difficult season to say the least.
Today during my appointment with my counselor, she had me re-take both inventories to see where I'm at now. My anxiety score went from 66 to 11, and my depression score went from 26 to 2. Was I surprised? Not really. The last 7 months have been very rough, but I've learned so much and come so far, and God continues to prove His faithfulness and love for me. But having it put plainly on paper like that was so huge. As I think back to where I was last semester, I'm completely overwhelmed by how drastically things have changed. I'm so happy, I'm content with where God has me, and I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack or the last time I cried. I'm falling more in love with Jesus every day, and He's putting incredible people in my life to walk alongside me. He's answering my prayers and giving me new dreams and desires for my future. I'm constantly being reminded of how far we've come and all the healing and restoration God has done in my heart and in my life.
To put it simply: I've been set free!!
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