To Simply Trust

Rather than posting one huge megablog, I've decided to break this down into a series. I've never done this before, so this has the potential to fail miserably. Fair warning.

Moving on, let's recap:

I mentioned in my last blog that I've recently found myself in a difficult season. I recognize that difficult is a relative term, so let my clarify by saying that this season has been difficult for me. It has occurred to me that in the perspective of some, I'm living the American dream. In fact, a few years ago this would have been MY dream. But as we all can appreciate, time passes and things change.

And here we are.

I graduated from the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs on May 18th of this year with my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. On July 5th (3 days before my wedding!) I took the NCLEX, and on July 7th I was informed that I passed and was officially licensed as a registered nurse in the state of Colorado. Since then, I have applied for 100+ jobs and received the same number of rejections.

It's been discouraging, to say the least.

On the upside, God has been using this time to speak to my heart in a number of ways. One of the most difficult lessons for me to learn, however, is simply to trust Him.

The Lord recently brought to my attention the fact that I was holding onto this job situation entirely too tightly and doing everything in my power to remain in control. I can appreciate the basic knowledge that I will get the job that God has set aside for me. I believe with all my heart that he has the perfect job in mind for me. The real issue, though, is WHEN. That's the seemingly simple thing I've struggled to let go of. I have no problem believing there is a job in store for me, I'm just getting incredibly impatient.

Psalm 16:9 says, "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

I'm learning that I can apply for jobs until I'm blue in the face, but I'll get rejected left and right until it's within God's perfect timing. And that's not to say I'm simply going to stop trying until God drops a job in my lap. I'm going to continue to apply for as many jobs as will accept my application. But I'm choosing to be content with the rejections, because I'm more interested in God's timing than my own.

Along with trusting Him comes the need to be content in the time of waiting. This has been another difficult concept for me. However...

Yesterday I accepted a job as a nanny for two little girls. It's not the RN job I've been dreaming about, but it's a job doing something I absolutely love, and I wholeheartedly believe it's an answer to prayer. I've been blessed with a job, during which I will continue to apply for RN positions with the family's blessing. When it comes to nannying, getting hired to work "until further notice"from the nanny's perspective is basically unheard of. To top it all off, the family is incredible and the girls are absolute dolls.

The Lord has continued to be gracious and teach me what it looks like to be content in this season of waiting. He has humbled me by providing me with a job that I didn't expect in the mean time. I haven't been abandoned or hung out to dry, it's simply not my time yet. So I am continuing to choose to be content with where God has me now, and trust that he is continuing to prepare me for what He has in store.