Cease Striving

"O Lord, my heart is not proud,
nor my eyes haughty;
Nor do I involve myself in great matters,
Or in things too difficult for me.
Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child rests against his mother,
My soul is like a weaned child within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
From this time forth and forever."
-Psalm 131

Life is busy. School is busier. Most of the time I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread, but as soon as things actually start to slow down it feels like it's all gonna fall apart. Free time tends to catch me off guard, and I'm realizing that I've actually gotten comfortable being outrageously busy. Having time to myself actually allows me to think about the stress, the feelings, and the emotions, and it's almost like I've forgotten how to handle it.

This morning at New Life, Pastor Brady talked about Sabbath. Sabbath is a concept I've always been familiar with, but had a hard time actually applying to my life. I literally can't afford to waste time resting. But the sermon this morning was a much-needed reminder. Remembering the Sabbath is one of the ten commandments. We are commanded to rest. The Sabbath was designed as a time of rest, healing, and restoration. We need it.

Recently, I've been asking God why I feel like I'm falling apart, and why suddenly, when I have time to step back and process things, why I feel so completely abandoned. But what I'm realizing is that God is providing me with time to rest and time to seek him. He's been answering my prayers left and right, just not always in the ways I expect. Lately, he has provided me with countless opportunities to "Cease striving and know that I am God," (Psalm 46:10, NASB). One thing Pastor Brady said this morning that really struck me was that it's not necessarily about whether or not you're always hearing God's voice, but whether you're acknowledging his continual presence in your life. I don't necessarily understand what God's doing right now, but I don't have to. I'm choosing to see this as an opportunity to rest and for God to strengthen my faith in him. I wish I didn't have to learn this lesson over and over again, but I'm just thankful that He's still willing to teach it to me.

I often find myself wishing life was simpler, but that would mean I'd have everything figured out. Then life would basically be pointless...the road to simple is a crazy one.

"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You." -Psalm 56:3