Lately I've found myself attacked with questions like, Who are you? and What do you think you're doing? But it's not other people asking me these questions...I'm asking them of myself. I have this awful tendency to lose myself to things...to people, to relationships, to school, to books, to tv shows, and to whatever else I let myself spend too much time on. My most recent loss of self, however, is to my appearance.
Over spring break I got my second tattoo. About two weeks ago I got my lip pierced. Two days ago I chopped six inches of my hair off. But for what?
Insecurity has always been a really big struggle for me. I've never really been confident in the way I look, and that always converted into shyness on my part. But in the past few months my personality has really begun to blossom--I'm bolder, more confident, even starting to become somewhat outgoing. I credit all of this to the work Jesus is doing in my heart. He's revealing Himself to me more and more each and every day; He's showing me who He created me to be and giving me confidence in that. My journey thus far has been beautiful, and I couldn't be happier with where He has me.
I have this other tendency: to get bored with myself and suddenly restless to change something. Usually, it translates to a new hairstyle and/or color, but my impulsive changes have gotten more drastic lately. Don't misunderstand me here; nothing has been a split-second decision. A lot of thought has gone into each one, along with permission from my parents. I don't regret chopping my hair, piercing my lip, or getting my tattoo. What I do regret is how I've let them start to define me. I've started identifying myself in my appearance rather than in my Savior. Again, please don't misunderstand--I don't spend any more time looking in the mirror now that I did before, and although I'm very content with the way I look, I still don't have that "hot stuff" mindset that a lot of girls do. But what I'm realizing that it's not my appearance in itself that I've lost myself to this time, it's my need for control. In high school and up through my first year of college, when things were hard and I was really struggling, I exercised my need for control over food, because I didn't feel like I had control over what was happening to me. That is such a dangerous place to be; I struggled with eating disorders for years, and the leftover tendencies are still something I have to be careful of. This time it crept up on me, and I didn't even realize it until I started writing this. The past few months have left me feeling out of control again, and I've tried to compensate for that by taking control over the way I look.
Obviously, my need for control is a pattern in my life, and something I really need to work on; but I'm confident that He is already working on my heart. My first reaction after realizing this is to feel ashamed, but on second thought, I don't think that's necessary. Everybody struggles with something. I've made so much progress in the past few months, and realizing this doesn't cancel any of that out--it's just opens another door for more progress in another direction.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Proverbs 31 Woman (Part 1)
This morning I feel like God put Proverbs 31 on my heart, specifically the passage that describes a worthy woman. This is something I want so badly to mirror with my own life, so I'm letting Jesus walk me through it.
10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
Proverbs 21:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones." The word 'excellent' here also translates to 'virtuous.' This is a little nerve-racking, to be honest. Obviously it's so important for a woman to be virtuous and therefore considered excellent, but to fail at this means bringing other people down.
Proverbs 19:14 says, "...but a prudent wife is from the Lord." This one actually makes me feel a little better. If I lose myself in Jesus I really don't have anything to worry about :)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Obviously, being trustworthy is a really important quality, but for some reason I was a little surprised to notice it listed first. But I guess when you think about it, trust is the foundation of all good, healthy relationships. But this goes so much deeper than simply not telling lies. The word 'trustworthy' is defined as 'able to be relied on as honest or truthful.' This also means being dependable. It means being vulnerable with people so that they're comfortable being vulnerable with you. It's being approachable, receptive, and easy to talk to. It's being the type of woman people know will always listen.
12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
This one is kind of a no-brainer. Except the words 'all the days of her life.' Nobody can honestly say that they've been sweet and kind to everybody every single day of her life. Nobody's perfect. But as a worthy woman of God, I'm called to be sweet and kind to everybody always, not just when it's easy or when I feel like it. So even (and especially) when I'm having a bad day, or I'm frustrated, or I'm not feeling well, I'm to be sweet and gentle and loving. Galatians 5:22 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." That's the secret of doing good ALL the days of my life: being filled with the Holy Spirit.
13 She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.
"In delight" here means willingly. As a woman of God, I'm to work and serve others joyfully and willingly, "as for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23). Complaining is easy. Taking short cuts is easy. Giving up is easy. But if being a worthy woman of God was easy, everyone would be doing it. I really think that's how we develop qualities like the fruit of the Spirit--by submitting to the Lord and to others with a happy heart, and by serving others without expecting to be immediately gratified.
14 She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.
The only cross reference for this verse is Ezekiel 27:25, which says, "The ships of Tarshish were carriers for your merchandise. And you were filled and were very glorious in the heart of the seas." If I am to be like a merchant ship, I am to be dependable and know my role. I am to provide, and provide enough; and therefore bring contentment and satisfaction to those around me.
15 She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
I am called to be diligent and never lazy. I am to maintain a fervent spirit as I serve others and ultimately, Jesus. This involves being faithful and sensible, and reliable in performing tasks.
16 She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
I believe this verse speaks strongly of discernment and making wise choices, along with being frugal and efficient. Wisdom and discernment only come from a strong relationship with the Lord and connection to the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 31:10-16
More to come!
10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
Proverbs 21:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones." The word 'excellent' here also translates to 'virtuous.' This is a little nerve-racking, to be honest. Obviously it's so important for a woman to be virtuous and therefore considered excellent, but to fail at this means bringing other people down.
Proverbs 19:14 says, "...but a prudent wife is from the Lord." This one actually makes me feel a little better. If I lose myself in Jesus I really don't have anything to worry about :)
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Obviously, being trustworthy is a really important quality, but for some reason I was a little surprised to notice it listed first. But I guess when you think about it, trust is the foundation of all good, healthy relationships. But this goes so much deeper than simply not telling lies. The word 'trustworthy' is defined as 'able to be relied on as honest or truthful.' This also means being dependable. It means being vulnerable with people so that they're comfortable being vulnerable with you. It's being approachable, receptive, and easy to talk to. It's being the type of woman people know will always listen.
12 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
This one is kind of a no-brainer. Except the words 'all the days of her life.' Nobody can honestly say that they've been sweet and kind to everybody every single day of her life. Nobody's perfect. But as a worthy woman of God, I'm called to be sweet and kind to everybody always, not just when it's easy or when I feel like it. So even (and especially) when I'm having a bad day, or I'm frustrated, or I'm not feeling well, I'm to be sweet and gentle and loving. Galatians 5:22 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." That's the secret of doing good ALL the days of my life: being filled with the Holy Spirit.
13 She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.
"In delight" here means willingly. As a woman of God, I'm to work and serve others joyfully and willingly, "as for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23). Complaining is easy. Taking short cuts is easy. Giving up is easy. But if being a worthy woman of God was easy, everyone would be doing it. I really think that's how we develop qualities like the fruit of the Spirit--by submitting to the Lord and to others with a happy heart, and by serving others without expecting to be immediately gratified.
14 She is like merchant ships; she brings her food from afar.
The only cross reference for this verse is Ezekiel 27:25, which says, "The ships of Tarshish were carriers for your merchandise. And you were filled and were very glorious in the heart of the seas." If I am to be like a merchant ship, I am to be dependable and know my role. I am to provide, and provide enough; and therefore bring contentment and satisfaction to those around me.
15 She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens.
I am called to be diligent and never lazy. I am to maintain a fervent spirit as I serve others and ultimately, Jesus. This involves being faithful and sensible, and reliable in performing tasks.
16 She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
I believe this verse speaks strongly of discernment and making wise choices, along with being frugal and efficient. Wisdom and discernment only come from a strong relationship with the Lord and connection to the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 31:10-16
More to come!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Thankful
I just finished reading Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It's a fantastic book. This is a little excerpt that I read earlier today that's been echoing in my heart ever since.
The pearl she found one day glistened in the smile of a grizzled street veteran who lived under a railroad trestle in a cardboard box shaped like a casket. This man ate from garbage cans, an unpleasant truth you knew automatically if you had a nose. His beard was matted with dried vomit and the remnants of his last few meals, and he reeked so strongly of booze that it seemed he might explode if someone got too close and struck a match.
Here was a man whose life seemed disposable. Yet he found a reason to smile. Drawn to him, Deborah offered him a plate of home-cooked food and a prayer. Then, truly puzzled, she asked him, 'Why are you so happy?'
'I woke up!' he replied, eyes twinkling in his haggard face, "and that's reason enough to be happy!'
This is so humbling! It's so easy to forget to be thankful, especially when you're accustomed to being blessed. But to be thankful for waking up in the morning--especially if you overslept and are late, or if you have too much to do that day, or if you don't feel good--seems almost foreign; when, in fact, it's something the vast majority of us take for granted on a daily basis.
I was thinking today about how thankful I am for my job, when it occurred to me that I don't remember ever taking the time to thank God for providing it for me. For about a week straight I went around telling people I got the job. But I didn't get anything--I was graciously provided with it. It's a wonderful job and absolutely perfect for me, it's full-time and allows me visit the pool and the zoo on at least a weekly basis, the kids are wonderful, and I love getting a chance to play the part of mom...all the more reason to give thanks!
I have a lot to be thankful for--a lot of things I've been blessed and provided with that I don't necessarily need or deserve. All too often I forget to thank God for those things, let alone the fact that I'm healthy; there's air in my lungs; I can walk, talk, hear, see, smell, taste, and feel. The little privileges that I take for granted every single day constitute coveted losses and desperate desires for some people, and here I am walking around like I did something to deserve them.
Having a thankful heart is something that's SO important to me, especially lately. My heart is so full with thoughts and feelings about this that the best I can manage right now is a huge smile, because words don't even do this justice. I woke up this morning, and God only knows if I'll be lucky enough to do it again tomorrow. Right now that's enough for me :)
The pearl she found one day glistened in the smile of a grizzled street veteran who lived under a railroad trestle in a cardboard box shaped like a casket. This man ate from garbage cans, an unpleasant truth you knew automatically if you had a nose. His beard was matted with dried vomit and the remnants of his last few meals, and he reeked so strongly of booze that it seemed he might explode if someone got too close and struck a match.
Here was a man whose life seemed disposable. Yet he found a reason to smile. Drawn to him, Deborah offered him a plate of home-cooked food and a prayer. Then, truly puzzled, she asked him, 'Why are you so happy?'
'I woke up!' he replied, eyes twinkling in his haggard face, "and that's reason enough to be happy!'
This is so humbling! It's so easy to forget to be thankful, especially when you're accustomed to being blessed. But to be thankful for waking up in the morning--especially if you overslept and are late, or if you have too much to do that day, or if you don't feel good--seems almost foreign; when, in fact, it's something the vast majority of us take for granted on a daily basis.
I was thinking today about how thankful I am for my job, when it occurred to me that I don't remember ever taking the time to thank God for providing it for me. For about a week straight I went around telling people I got the job. But I didn't get anything--I was graciously provided with it. It's a wonderful job and absolutely perfect for me, it's full-time and allows me visit the pool and the zoo on at least a weekly basis, the kids are wonderful, and I love getting a chance to play the part of mom...all the more reason to give thanks!
I have a lot to be thankful for--a lot of things I've been blessed and provided with that I don't necessarily need or deserve. All too often I forget to thank God for those things, let alone the fact that I'm healthy; there's air in my lungs; I can walk, talk, hear, see, smell, taste, and feel. The little privileges that I take for granted every single day constitute coveted losses and desperate desires for some people, and here I am walking around like I did something to deserve them.
Having a thankful heart is something that's SO important to me, especially lately. My heart is so full with thoughts and feelings about this that the best I can manage right now is a huge smile, because words don't even do this justice. I woke up this morning, and God only knows if I'll be lucky enough to do it again tomorrow. Right now that's enough for me :)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Pursuit of a Holy Mind
I'm currently reading The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges, and if you haven't read it I highly recommend it. What I read today was really thought provoking, so I'm going to do my best to articulate...
I think a lot of times we kid ourselves into thinking that just because we don't actually, physically commit a sin that we've dodged the bullet. But not only are we called to not sin, we are called to avoid harvesting any thoughts or feelings that lead us in sin's direction.
"Therefore *consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry...But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth." - Colossians 3: 5, 8
I think it's interesting here that Paul has two separate lists--one of physical sins and one of sins of the heart. In God's eyes, they're one in the same; but we've somehow gotten away with categorizing them as either "actual sin" or "close calls," and even beyond that we've managed to excuse some sins while punishing others at the legal level.
The original text literally translates to, "Therefore, put to death the members of your earthly body..." We are called to action here. It's not just attempting to avoid things like immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed; it's actively casting them out of our lives. When it comes to sin, we weren't meant to simply play defense.
So what does that look like? It starts with removing temptation. Don't sit back and wait until a specific struggle presents itself to deal with it--go after it in the name of Jesus and send that sucker back where it came from!
"But immorality or any impurity or greed must mot even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." - Ephesians 5:3-4
I used to have it in my head that this verse was going a little overboard. But let's be real: it's the Word of God, and what He says goes. I know it seems a little ridiculous, especially considering the world we live in; but when I think about how badly I want to pursue a life of holiness in EVERYTHING I do, say, think, and project...it's suddenly not ridiculous at all. If I truly want my heart to match God's, I can't make exceptions. That means watching what I say and being careful of the jokes I make and/or laugh at. It means not being sarcastic, but making an effort to let every word be edifying. I want people to look at me and see Jesus always, not just when I'm thinking about it.
Once again, we're not playing defense here:
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - Philippians 4:8
That's a pretty long list of qualifications for our thoughts. And we are called to dwell on these thoughts. To ponder, meditate, mull over, analyze, question, discuss, read, memorize,think, speak and live these thoughts. It's not always easy or even natural, but it's absolutely attainable. With time, it can and should become a wonderful habit. And really, how can we honestly say that we are pursuing holiness if we aren't actually making the effort?
I think a lot of times we kid ourselves into thinking that just because we don't actually, physically commit a sin that we've dodged the bullet. But not only are we called to not sin, we are called to avoid harvesting any thoughts or feelings that lead us in sin's direction.
"Therefore *consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry...But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth." - Colossians 3: 5, 8
I think it's interesting here that Paul has two separate lists--one of physical sins and one of sins of the heart. In God's eyes, they're one in the same; but we've somehow gotten away with categorizing them as either "actual sin" or "close calls," and even beyond that we've managed to excuse some sins while punishing others at the legal level.
The original text literally translates to, "Therefore, put to death the members of your earthly body..." We are called to action here. It's not just attempting to avoid things like immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed; it's actively casting them out of our lives. When it comes to sin, we weren't meant to simply play defense.
So what does that look like? It starts with removing temptation. Don't sit back and wait until a specific struggle presents itself to deal with it--go after it in the name of Jesus and send that sucker back where it came from!
"But immorality or any impurity or greed must mot even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." - Ephesians 5:3-4
I used to have it in my head that this verse was going a little overboard. But let's be real: it's the Word of God, and what He says goes. I know it seems a little ridiculous, especially considering the world we live in; but when I think about how badly I want to pursue a life of holiness in EVERYTHING I do, say, think, and project...it's suddenly not ridiculous at all. If I truly want my heart to match God's, I can't make exceptions. That means watching what I say and being careful of the jokes I make and/or laugh at. It means not being sarcastic, but making an effort to let every word be edifying. I want people to look at me and see Jesus always, not just when I'm thinking about it.
Once again, we're not playing defense here:
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - Philippians 4:8
That's a pretty long list of qualifications for our thoughts. And we are called to dwell on these thoughts. To ponder, meditate, mull over, analyze, question, discuss, read, memorize,think, speak and live these thoughts. It's not always easy or even natural, but it's absolutely attainable. With time, it can and should become a wonderful habit. And really, how can we honestly say that we are pursuing holiness if we aren't actually making the effort?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Stuck in a Rut
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3
Well, wow--this is certainly humbling. So often I find myself asking God for the things I want and wonder why it seems as if He hasn't heard me. I am so guilty of asking God for things simply because I want them--in this case, for Him to restore a broken relationship--not stopping to think about whether or not it's good for me, edifying to the Lord, or even what He wants for my life.
So here I am, thinking I've learned a valuable life lesson when, in actuality, I halfheartedly realized something and failed to apply it to my life. I can honestly say that I want nothing more or less than what God wants for my life. The thing is, regardless of my motives, I get busy and my prayer life becomes sluggish, allowing room for my prayers to become more selfishly motivated.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." But where does that start? It seems fairly simple, but our own selfish desires never fail to get in the way and blur our vision.
"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." - James 4:7-10
I wholeheartedly believe that delighting in the Lord must begin with completely ridding us of ourselves, and that is not a pleasant process. Resisting temptation isn't easy. Denying ourselves of the things the world has conditioned us to want can be excruciating. It involves laying down our pride and allowing ourselves to be completely broken. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. God can't line desires of my heart up with His if I keep getting in the way. I read a quote today that really resonates with me: "It is not within our power to create the wind or to change its direction, but we can raise our sails to catch it when it comes." I'm still trying too hard to stay in control and to get my way. But that's not my job. My job is to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord and let Him take the wheel. That involves a lot of trust on my part, which unfortunately still isn't one of my strong suits. But I know that sitting back and letting Jesus have His way in me is so much better than trying to navigate these waters on my own; because simply put, I can't.
Well, wow--this is certainly humbling. So often I find myself asking God for the things I want and wonder why it seems as if He hasn't heard me. I am so guilty of asking God for things simply because I want them--in this case, for Him to restore a broken relationship--not stopping to think about whether or not it's good for me, edifying to the Lord, or even what He wants for my life.
So here I am, thinking I've learned a valuable life lesson when, in actuality, I halfheartedly realized something and failed to apply it to my life. I can honestly say that I want nothing more or less than what God wants for my life. The thing is, regardless of my motives, I get busy and my prayer life becomes sluggish, allowing room for my prayers to become more selfishly motivated.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." But where does that start? It seems fairly simple, but our own selfish desires never fail to get in the way and blur our vision.
"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." - James 4:7-10
I wholeheartedly believe that delighting in the Lord must begin with completely ridding us of ourselves, and that is not a pleasant process. Resisting temptation isn't easy. Denying ourselves of the things the world has conditioned us to want can be excruciating. It involves laying down our pride and allowing ourselves to be completely broken. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. God can't line desires of my heart up with His if I keep getting in the way. I read a quote today that really resonates with me: "It is not within our power to create the wind or to change its direction, but we can raise our sails to catch it when it comes." I'm still trying too hard to stay in control and to get my way. But that's not my job. My job is to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord and let Him take the wheel. That involves a lot of trust on my part, which unfortunately still isn't one of my strong suits. But I know that sitting back and letting Jesus have His way in me is so much better than trying to navigate these waters on my own; because simply put, I can't.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Secret of Life
"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.." - Psalm 37:4
I absolutely adore this verse. This verse is a promise--a promise that if we obediently commit our lives to the Lord, diligently pursue Him, and seek to know the depths of His heart, that the desires of our heart will fall in line with His. How beautiful! And really, what more could we ask for? When we truly seek to know Him more, He fills us with his own perfect desires that He already has plans to fulfill.
Again, what more could we ask for?
I absolutely adore this verse. This verse is a promise--a promise that if we obediently commit our lives to the Lord, diligently pursue Him, and seek to know the depths of His heart, that the desires of our heart will fall in line with His. How beautiful! And really, what more could we ask for? When we truly seek to know Him more, He fills us with his own perfect desires that He already has plans to fulfill.
Again, what more could we ask for?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Love & Support
Definitions of support (as a verb):
- to provide the necessities of life for
- to give aid or courage to
- to give approval to
- to endure with forbearance
- to give strength to, maintain
- to bear or hold up, serve as a foundation for
- to sustain or withstand without giving way, serve as a prop for
- to undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate
Lately, God has really had the word support on my heart. I believe He's teaching me what it means to be unconditionally supportive of the people I love. After my breakup, I started praying that God would teach me what it means to truly love someone; and not strictly limited to a dating relationship, either. I want to learn how to see and love people unconditionally, as God does--the way I'm called to. I think that so often we interpret "love your neighbor as yourself" as "just be nice to everyone." I think we tend to consider this particular command to look more like passive tolerance than active love.
God used the word love here for a reason. If He wanted us to simply "be nice" to one another, He would have said just that. But He took it a step further. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love and tolerance are entirely different concepts.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
This is a pretty heavy definition, and it's how we are called to treat everyone. Not just our families, not just our significant others, not just our friends or the people we prefer to be around. Everyone. It's not easy; it's not supposed to be. If it was, we'd all be great at it.
People aren't easy to love, yet we're called to love all of them all the time. Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a mindset. A lifestyle. And the only way to do even a halfway decent job of loving others is to experience true love at it's source.
I'm starting to realize that before you can do a good job of loving any individual person, you must first learn how to love people in general. I used to think that being in love or doing a good job of loving someone would make you good at loving everybody else, but now I'm starting to think that it's the other way around. We have to understand what it means to love before we can effectively narrow it down.
So, to bring this full-circle, I really think that one of the core concepts of love is unconditional support. Helping, encouraging, affirming, and offering strength. It's such an enormous part of any and every relationship. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of articulating my heart on this, but I think that's okay.
Basically, being unconditionally supportive of someone is one of the best, simplest, and most important ways you can love them. And that's just the beginning!
- to provide the necessities of life for
- to give aid or courage to
- to give approval to
- to endure with forbearance
- to give strength to, maintain
- to bear or hold up, serve as a foundation for
- to sustain or withstand without giving way, serve as a prop for
- to undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate
Lately, God has really had the word support on my heart. I believe He's teaching me what it means to be unconditionally supportive of the people I love. After my breakup, I started praying that God would teach me what it means to truly love someone; and not strictly limited to a dating relationship, either. I want to learn how to see and love people unconditionally, as God does--the way I'm called to. I think that so often we interpret "love your neighbor as yourself" as "just be nice to everyone." I think we tend to consider this particular command to look more like passive tolerance than active love.
God used the word love here for a reason. If He wanted us to simply "be nice" to one another, He would have said just that. But He took it a step further. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love and tolerance are entirely different concepts.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
This is a pretty heavy definition, and it's how we are called to treat everyone. Not just our families, not just our significant others, not just our friends or the people we prefer to be around. Everyone. It's not easy; it's not supposed to be. If it was, we'd all be great at it.
People aren't easy to love, yet we're called to love all of them all the time. Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a mindset. A lifestyle. And the only way to do even a halfway decent job of loving others is to experience true love at it's source.
I'm starting to realize that before you can do a good job of loving any individual person, you must first learn how to love people in general. I used to think that being in love or doing a good job of loving someone would make you good at loving everybody else, but now I'm starting to think that it's the other way around. We have to understand what it means to love before we can effectively narrow it down.
So, to bring this full-circle, I really think that one of the core concepts of love is unconditional support. Helping, encouraging, affirming, and offering strength. It's such an enormous part of any and every relationship. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of articulating my heart on this, but I think that's okay.
Basically, being unconditionally supportive of someone is one of the best, simplest, and most important ways you can love them. And that's just the beginning!
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