I'm currently reading The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges, and if you haven't read it I highly recommend it. What I read today was really thought provoking, so I'm going to do my best to articulate...
I think a lot of times we kid ourselves into thinking that just because we don't actually, physically commit a sin that we've dodged the bullet. But not only are we called to not sin, we are called to avoid harvesting any thoughts or feelings that lead us in sin's direction.
"Therefore *consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry...But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth." - Colossians 3: 5, 8
I think it's interesting here that Paul has two separate lists--one of physical sins and one of sins of the heart. In God's eyes, they're one in the same; but we've somehow gotten away with categorizing them as either "actual sin" or "close calls," and even beyond that we've managed to excuse some sins while punishing others at the legal level.
The original text literally translates to, "Therefore, put to death the members of your earthly body..." We are called to action here. It's not just attempting to avoid things like immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed; it's actively casting them out of our lives. When it comes to sin, we weren't meant to simply play defense.
So what does that look like? It starts with removing temptation. Don't sit back and wait until a specific struggle presents itself to deal with it--go after it in the name of Jesus and send that sucker back where it came from!
"But immorality or any impurity or greed must mot even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." - Ephesians 5:3-4
I used to have it in my head that this verse was going a little overboard. But let's be real: it's the Word of God, and what He says goes. I know it seems a little ridiculous, especially considering the world we live in; but when I think about how badly I want to pursue a life of holiness in EVERYTHING I do, say, think, and project...it's suddenly not ridiculous at all. If I truly want my heart to match God's, I can't make exceptions. That means watching what I say and being careful of the jokes I make and/or laugh at. It means not being sarcastic, but making an effort to let every word be edifying. I want people to look at me and see Jesus always, not just when I'm thinking about it.
Once again, we're not playing defense here:
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - Philippians 4:8
That's a pretty long list of qualifications for our thoughts. And we are called to dwell on these thoughts. To ponder, meditate, mull over, analyze, question, discuss, read, memorize,think, speak and live these thoughts. It's not always easy or even natural, but it's absolutely attainable. With time, it can and should become a wonderful habit. And really, how can we honestly say that we are pursuing holiness if we aren't actually making the effort?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Stuck in a Rut
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." - James 4:3
Well, wow--this is certainly humbling. So often I find myself asking God for the things I want and wonder why it seems as if He hasn't heard me. I am so guilty of asking God for things simply because I want them--in this case, for Him to restore a broken relationship--not stopping to think about whether or not it's good for me, edifying to the Lord, or even what He wants for my life.
So here I am, thinking I've learned a valuable life lesson when, in actuality, I halfheartedly realized something and failed to apply it to my life. I can honestly say that I want nothing more or less than what God wants for my life. The thing is, regardless of my motives, I get busy and my prayer life becomes sluggish, allowing room for my prayers to become more selfishly motivated.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." But where does that start? It seems fairly simple, but our own selfish desires never fail to get in the way and blur our vision.
"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." - James 4:7-10
I wholeheartedly believe that delighting in the Lord must begin with completely ridding us of ourselves, and that is not a pleasant process. Resisting temptation isn't easy. Denying ourselves of the things the world has conditioned us to want can be excruciating. It involves laying down our pride and allowing ourselves to be completely broken. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. God can't line desires of my heart up with His if I keep getting in the way. I read a quote today that really resonates with me: "It is not within our power to create the wind or to change its direction, but we can raise our sails to catch it when it comes." I'm still trying too hard to stay in control and to get my way. But that's not my job. My job is to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord and let Him take the wheel. That involves a lot of trust on my part, which unfortunately still isn't one of my strong suits. But I know that sitting back and letting Jesus have His way in me is so much better than trying to navigate these waters on my own; because simply put, I can't.
Well, wow--this is certainly humbling. So often I find myself asking God for the things I want and wonder why it seems as if He hasn't heard me. I am so guilty of asking God for things simply because I want them--in this case, for Him to restore a broken relationship--not stopping to think about whether or not it's good for me, edifying to the Lord, or even what He wants for my life.
So here I am, thinking I've learned a valuable life lesson when, in actuality, I halfheartedly realized something and failed to apply it to my life. I can honestly say that I want nothing more or less than what God wants for my life. The thing is, regardless of my motives, I get busy and my prayer life becomes sluggish, allowing room for my prayers to become more selfishly motivated.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." But where does that start? It seems fairly simple, but our own selfish desires never fail to get in the way and blur our vision.
"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." - James 4:7-10
I wholeheartedly believe that delighting in the Lord must begin with completely ridding us of ourselves, and that is not a pleasant process. Resisting temptation isn't easy. Denying ourselves of the things the world has conditioned us to want can be excruciating. It involves laying down our pride and allowing ourselves to be completely broken. It's not easy, but it's so necessary. God can't line desires of my heart up with His if I keep getting in the way. I read a quote today that really resonates with me: "It is not within our power to create the wind or to change its direction, but we can raise our sails to catch it when it comes." I'm still trying too hard to stay in control and to get my way. But that's not my job. My job is to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord and let Him take the wheel. That involves a lot of trust on my part, which unfortunately still isn't one of my strong suits. But I know that sitting back and letting Jesus have His way in me is so much better than trying to navigate these waters on my own; because simply put, I can't.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Secret of Life
"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.." - Psalm 37:4
I absolutely adore this verse. This verse is a promise--a promise that if we obediently commit our lives to the Lord, diligently pursue Him, and seek to know the depths of His heart, that the desires of our heart will fall in line with His. How beautiful! And really, what more could we ask for? When we truly seek to know Him more, He fills us with his own perfect desires that He already has plans to fulfill.
Again, what more could we ask for?
I absolutely adore this verse. This verse is a promise--a promise that if we obediently commit our lives to the Lord, diligently pursue Him, and seek to know the depths of His heart, that the desires of our heart will fall in line with His. How beautiful! And really, what more could we ask for? When we truly seek to know Him more, He fills us with his own perfect desires that He already has plans to fulfill.
Again, what more could we ask for?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Love & Support
Definitions of support (as a verb):
- to provide the necessities of life for
- to give aid or courage to
- to give approval to
- to endure with forbearance
- to give strength to, maintain
- to bear or hold up, serve as a foundation for
- to sustain or withstand without giving way, serve as a prop for
- to undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate
Lately, God has really had the word support on my heart. I believe He's teaching me what it means to be unconditionally supportive of the people I love. After my breakup, I started praying that God would teach me what it means to truly love someone; and not strictly limited to a dating relationship, either. I want to learn how to see and love people unconditionally, as God does--the way I'm called to. I think that so often we interpret "love your neighbor as yourself" as "just be nice to everyone." I think we tend to consider this particular command to look more like passive tolerance than active love.
God used the word love here for a reason. If He wanted us to simply "be nice" to one another, He would have said just that. But He took it a step further. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love and tolerance are entirely different concepts.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
This is a pretty heavy definition, and it's how we are called to treat everyone. Not just our families, not just our significant others, not just our friends or the people we prefer to be around. Everyone. It's not easy; it's not supposed to be. If it was, we'd all be great at it.
People aren't easy to love, yet we're called to love all of them all the time. Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a mindset. A lifestyle. And the only way to do even a halfway decent job of loving others is to experience true love at it's source.
I'm starting to realize that before you can do a good job of loving any individual person, you must first learn how to love people in general. I used to think that being in love or doing a good job of loving someone would make you good at loving everybody else, but now I'm starting to think that it's the other way around. We have to understand what it means to love before we can effectively narrow it down.
So, to bring this full-circle, I really think that one of the core concepts of love is unconditional support. Helping, encouraging, affirming, and offering strength. It's such an enormous part of any and every relationship. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of articulating my heart on this, but I think that's okay.
Basically, being unconditionally supportive of someone is one of the best, simplest, and most important ways you can love them. And that's just the beginning!
- to provide the necessities of life for
- to give aid or courage to
- to give approval to
- to endure with forbearance
- to give strength to, maintain
- to bear or hold up, serve as a foundation for
- to sustain or withstand without giving way, serve as a prop for
- to undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate
Lately, God has really had the word support on my heart. I believe He's teaching me what it means to be unconditionally supportive of the people I love. After my breakup, I started praying that God would teach me what it means to truly love someone; and not strictly limited to a dating relationship, either. I want to learn how to see and love people unconditionally, as God does--the way I'm called to. I think that so often we interpret "love your neighbor as yourself" as "just be nice to everyone." I think we tend to consider this particular command to look more like passive tolerance than active love.
God used the word love here for a reason. If He wanted us to simply "be nice" to one another, He would have said just that. But He took it a step further. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love and tolerance are entirely different concepts.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
This is a pretty heavy definition, and it's how we are called to treat everyone. Not just our families, not just our significant others, not just our friends or the people we prefer to be around. Everyone. It's not easy; it's not supposed to be. If it was, we'd all be great at it.
People aren't easy to love, yet we're called to love all of them all the time. Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a mindset. A lifestyle. And the only way to do even a halfway decent job of loving others is to experience true love at it's source.
I'm starting to realize that before you can do a good job of loving any individual person, you must first learn how to love people in general. I used to think that being in love or doing a good job of loving someone would make you good at loving everybody else, but now I'm starting to think that it's the other way around. We have to understand what it means to love before we can effectively narrow it down.
So, to bring this full-circle, I really think that one of the core concepts of love is unconditional support. Helping, encouraging, affirming, and offering strength. It's such an enormous part of any and every relationship. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of articulating my heart on this, but I think that's okay.
Basically, being unconditionally supportive of someone is one of the best, simplest, and most important ways you can love them. And that's just the beginning!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
hate (v.)
Yesterday during worship at New Life I found myself looking around the room, just sort of watching people. I love doing that, maybe even to the point where it's a little weird. But I love watching people worship. It breaks my heart in an incredible way and encourages me more than almost anything else. But this time, God brought a quote to my mind that I had read a few days earlier:
"How do we view those who do not show love for us? Do we see them as persons for whom Christ died or as persons who make our lives difficult?" - Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness
Recently I've been noticing more and more people saying things like, "I hate so-and-so." I know I'm guilty of it, and it's really starting to bother me. Hate is such a terrible word, and I really think that it's too strong a word to get thrown around the way it does. It's sad how easy it is for us to say that we hate somebody when we are specifically called to do just the opposite [Matt. 5:43-48].
Obviously, we're not going to get along with everybody. If you do get along with everybody, chances are you're not being real with yourself or anybody else. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we have to like everyone in the whole world. But we are called to something much bigger--to love everyone in the whole world.
So back to the quote: how do we view those who don't show love for us? Or who annoy us? Or are downright mean to us? The world looks down on them and thinks poorly of them. But as Christ-followers, we are called to see them as Jesus does: as lost souls who He was willing to sacrifice His life for. It's pretty sobering to realize that each and every person someone claims to hate, God loves more than anyone could comprehend.
So I challenge you with this: whoever came to your mind as you read this, just remember that Jesus died for them too. We're all just as much in need of grace as they are.
"How do we view those who do not show love for us? Do we see them as persons for whom Christ died or as persons who make our lives difficult?" - Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness
Recently I've been noticing more and more people saying things like, "I hate so-and-so." I know I'm guilty of it, and it's really starting to bother me. Hate is such a terrible word, and I really think that it's too strong a word to get thrown around the way it does. It's sad how easy it is for us to say that we hate somebody when we are specifically called to do just the opposite [Matt. 5:43-48].
Obviously, we're not going to get along with everybody. If you do get along with everybody, chances are you're not being real with yourself or anybody else. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we have to like everyone in the whole world. But we are called to something much bigger--to love everyone in the whole world.
So back to the quote: how do we view those who don't show love for us? Or who annoy us? Or are downright mean to us? The world looks down on them and thinks poorly of them. But as Christ-followers, we are called to see them as Jesus does: as lost souls who He was willing to sacrifice His life for. It's pretty sobering to realize that each and every person someone claims to hate, God loves more than anyone could comprehend.
So I challenge you with this: whoever came to your mind as you read this, just remember that Jesus died for them too. We're all just as much in need of grace as they are.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I am Free
I've been debating whether or not I want this particular topic to be world wide web-accessible, but I think that transparency is a really important part of fellowship and relationship. And if God's doing something incredible, why keep it to myself? So, here it goes...
When I first started seeing my counselor back in October, she had me take an anxiety inventory and a depression inventory to gauge where I was at. I scored a 66 on my anxiety inventory, which is classified as extreme anxiety/panic. I scored a 26 on my depression inventory, which is classified as moderate depression. Filling out these inventories and hearing my results in and of itself was really tough. Even though it wasn't exactly news to me, it all suddenly felt really official, and that was scary. A lot of that comes from the horrible stigmas associated with depression and anxiety disorders, but I also succumbed to believing the devil's lies when he told me that I was a lesser person because of them. It was a difficult season to say the least.
Today during my appointment with my counselor, she had me re-take both inventories to see where I'm at now. My anxiety score went from 66 to 11, and my depression score went from 26 to 2. Was I surprised? Not really. The last 7 months have been very rough, but I've learned so much and come so far, and God continues to prove His faithfulness and love for me. But having it put plainly on paper like that was so huge. As I think back to where I was last semester, I'm completely overwhelmed by how drastically things have changed. I'm so happy, I'm content with where God has me, and I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack or the last time I cried. I'm falling more in love with Jesus every day, and He's putting incredible people in my life to walk alongside me. He's answering my prayers and giving me new dreams and desires for my future. I'm constantly being reminded of how far we've come and all the healing and restoration God has done in my heart and in my life.
To put it simply: I've been set free!!
When I first started seeing my counselor back in October, she had me take an anxiety inventory and a depression inventory to gauge where I was at. I scored a 66 on my anxiety inventory, which is classified as extreme anxiety/panic. I scored a 26 on my depression inventory, which is classified as moderate depression. Filling out these inventories and hearing my results in and of itself was really tough. Even though it wasn't exactly news to me, it all suddenly felt really official, and that was scary. A lot of that comes from the horrible stigmas associated with depression and anxiety disorders, but I also succumbed to believing the devil's lies when he told me that I was a lesser person because of them. It was a difficult season to say the least.
Today during my appointment with my counselor, she had me re-take both inventories to see where I'm at now. My anxiety score went from 66 to 11, and my depression score went from 26 to 2. Was I surprised? Not really. The last 7 months have been very rough, but I've learned so much and come so far, and God continues to prove His faithfulness and love for me. But having it put plainly on paper like that was so huge. As I think back to where I was last semester, I'm completely overwhelmed by how drastically things have changed. I'm so happy, I'm content with where God has me, and I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack or the last time I cried. I'm falling more in love with Jesus every day, and He's putting incredible people in my life to walk alongside me. He's answering my prayers and giving me new dreams and desires for my future. I'm constantly being reminded of how far we've come and all the healing and restoration God has done in my heart and in my life.
To put it simply: I've been set free!!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
ROPES
This summer I'm going to Cambodia.
Yesterday all theMILL missions teams did team building exercises at a ROPES course in Black Forest. We camped out Friday night and spent all day yesterday bonding through trust and cooperation exercises. It was incredible!
Between two of the elements, our guides suggested that we do a "prayer car wash." We formed two lines facing each other and took turns walking down the middle while the people in line laid hands on us, prayed, and spoke words over us. The Holy Spirit was really moving, and it was absolutely incredible to see my team come together the way we did. I was so encouraged when it was my turn. These are some of the things that my teammates prayed/spoke over me:
~ "I see strength in you; strength that you don't even realize yet."
~ "God had a plan for you before you were even born. He knows every hair on your head and every fiber in your heart. And He loves you more than you could possibly know."
~ One of our guides saw a vision of the two Marys: Mary the mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdalene. He talked about Mary obeying by bringing Jesus into this world, and Mary Magdalene obeying by worshiping Him at His resurrection. He said that I exemplify both of these.
~ Our other guide prophesied that there is someone special for me to minister to in Cambodia. Someone who needs me and who will be anxious to hear my story, and who I will have the opportunity to share the love of Christ with. She also spoke 1 John 4:17 over me: "By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world." She said, "Kaila, as He is, so you are."
~ I am in a season of renewal, and I was specifically told to "enjoy this time."
~ I was told that I have no reason to worry or strive, because I have been renewed.
~ One of my leaders described me as "lost in the Spirit," and commented that I had prayed about specific things in his life that I had no way of knowing about.
~ Freedom
~ The words "the embodiment of beauty" and "bride of Christ."
Unfortunately I can't remember everything; but I do remember sobbing as my teammates laid hands on me and spoke such powerful, encouraging words over and into my life. This was one of the most powerful prayer experiences I've ever had; both being prayed for, and praying for my Cambodia family. We came together on so many new levels yesterday, and it was absolutely beautiful. Each and every time we meet, God knits our hearts a little bit closer together, and I understand a little bit more clearly why God brought the 13 of us together. God is going to do some BIG things in Cambodia, and even the preparation is overwhelming. He is moving, and doing things in my mind and in my heart that I can't even begin to explain. All I know is that He is confirming each and every step I take toward Cambodia in ways I never expected.
All I can say is, wow!
Yesterday all theMILL missions teams did team building exercises at a ROPES course in Black Forest. We camped out Friday night and spent all day yesterday bonding through trust and cooperation exercises. It was incredible!
Between two of the elements, our guides suggested that we do a "prayer car wash." We formed two lines facing each other and took turns walking down the middle while the people in line laid hands on us, prayed, and spoke words over us. The Holy Spirit was really moving, and it was absolutely incredible to see my team come together the way we did. I was so encouraged when it was my turn. These are some of the things that my teammates prayed/spoke over me:
~ "I see strength in you; strength that you don't even realize yet."
~ "God had a plan for you before you were even born. He knows every hair on your head and every fiber in your heart. And He loves you more than you could possibly know."
~ One of our guides saw a vision of the two Marys: Mary the mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdalene. He talked about Mary obeying by bringing Jesus into this world, and Mary Magdalene obeying by worshiping Him at His resurrection. He said that I exemplify both of these.
~ Our other guide prophesied that there is someone special for me to minister to in Cambodia. Someone who needs me and who will be anxious to hear my story, and who I will have the opportunity to share the love of Christ with. She also spoke 1 John 4:17 over me: "By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world." She said, "Kaila, as He is, so you are."
~ I am in a season of renewal, and I was specifically told to "enjoy this time."
~ I was told that I have no reason to worry or strive, because I have been renewed.
~ One of my leaders described me as "lost in the Spirit," and commented that I had prayed about specific things in his life that I had no way of knowing about.
~ Freedom
~ The words "the embodiment of beauty" and "bride of Christ."
Unfortunately I can't remember everything; but I do remember sobbing as my teammates laid hands on me and spoke such powerful, encouraging words over and into my life. This was one of the most powerful prayer experiences I've ever had; both being prayed for, and praying for my Cambodia family. We came together on so many new levels yesterday, and it was absolutely beautiful. Each and every time we meet, God knits our hearts a little bit closer together, and I understand a little bit more clearly why God brought the 13 of us together. God is going to do some BIG things in Cambodia, and even the preparation is overwhelming. He is moving, and doing things in my mind and in my heart that I can't even begin to explain. All I know is that He is confirming each and every step I take toward Cambodia in ways I never expected.
All I can say is, wow!
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